A few weeks ago I took a trip to Salt Lake City with my wife and brother-in-law (the dude behind Wilkins To The Moon). Talk about an eye opening experience. I've seen and dealt with Mormons before, as most of my wife's family belongs to that particular branch of organized religion, but nothing really prepared me for the absolute onslaught of total nonsensical bullshit that would assault me there. Let me preface this post with the fact that Salt Lake is actually a pretty damn cool town if you know which places to check out (the Erotic Bakery was the highlight of our trip!) and there are plenty of people there with logic and reasoning skills. That being said, I saw a level of utter stupidity, of total lack of understanding, of complete purposeful ignorance, of absolutely horrific moral values, that it's honestly almost impossible to express how sickeningly terrible the people who live there act on a daily basis. First of all, Mormonism is all about two main things: physical appearance, and social appearances. Almost every woman I saw in Utah looked the exact same. Brown leather boots, highlights in the hair, skinny to the point of wondering if these women are some kind of living yet dead zombies, and complete bitchery on every goddamn level. Seriously, if I never talk to any of these women ever again in my entire life, it will still be too soon. The men aren't any better. If you've seen one man in Salt Lake, in all their short gelled hair and hipster clothes glory, then you've seen them all.
The social appearances factor is even more sickening. These people aren't any different than people anywhere else in the world. They all think about sex, masturbate, curse when they stub their toes, resent their parents, think they are great at singing when drunk, covet what they can't have, think they are always in the moral right while the people they don't like are ridiculous for disagreeing, and all the other bullshit every single human being on the planet goes through. The only difference between the Mormons who do these things and everyone else is that the Mormons lie about it. They pretend that they don't do any of these perfectly natural, totally human things. They are all just as horny, angry, jealous, sad, boastful, hate filled, and entitlement riddled as everyone else on the planet.
While we actually went to Salt Lake to see a concert, we spent some time there protesting outside of the Mormon temple at temple square. In case you haven't been reading the news lately, the Mormon church spent millions of dollars to support advertising that was used to convince people in California that homosexuals would inundate their schools with lessons about anal sex if they didn't pass Proposition 8 to prevent gays from getting married. Besides being completely untrue (how often did teachers tell their kids that butt fucking is normal in any classroom before Prop 8 was passed??) these people are serving the same role that people who opposed interracial marriage served back in the 1950's. Those bigots used Bible verses to back up their stances too. Gay marriage is a civil rights issue, not a religious issue. We have now set a precedent that it is perfectly OK for one group of people to take away another group of people's rights to marriage. Mormons shouldn't be happy about this. How are they going to feel when a bigger denomination of the cult of Christianity (say maybe the Catholics for instance?) who have access to more monetary funds decide that Mormonism is "defiling the sanctity of marriage?" When a bigger Christian sect chooses to start putting out commercials reminding the American people of how Mormonism was built on polygamy then the Mormons might suddenly find themselves unable to marry. Fair? Fuck no. No one on this planet has the right to tell any couple consisting of two consenting adults that they cannot be in love and get married. What do these people gain by banning gay marriage? Do they honestly think that gays will stop falling in love if they can't get married? This law only hurts people. It does not help anyone in any way. I'm straight, and gays getting married doesn't ruin my marriage. How would you feel if I passed a law stating that marriage should be defined as one atheist man and one atheist woman? You'd cry religious persecution and rail against it. Stop being a hypocrite and realize that banning gay marriage is the same thing.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Letter From 2012 In Obama's America
The Christian company Focus on the Family has created a separate company called Focus On The Family Action so that they can use it to lobby politicians legally and without churches affiliated with them losing tax exempt status. Focus On The Family Action recently produced a document entitled "Letter From 2012 In Obama's America" which is a theoretical letter from a Christian in the year 2012 that has been sent back into the past to warn us against voting for Barack Obama in this election. This is hands down the most offensive, least well thought out political attack I have ever had the misfortune of reading in my entire life. If you feel the need to read it before continuing on with this post feel free to do so, but I must apologize in advance for the loss of brain cells you will undoubtedly suffer.
Five out of sixteen pages of this document deals with how the very fabric of reality will unravel and existence itself will implode if we stop persecuting homosexuals and give them equal rights to marry. Seriously, the connections made between homosexual marriage, and well, everything else in this letter are so tenuous and outright ridiculous that absolutely no one with a brain could take this seriously. According to the author of this letter Christian books, talk radio, Christian doctors, private schools, home schooling, and all churches across the nation will cease to exist because of homosexuality. There will also be terrorist attacks on the U.S. and Russia will invade other countries in Europe because of homosexuality. Why do these people hate homosexuals so much? Why do they fear a sexual orientation that is different from theirs? Do they not realize that homosexual couples have absolutely no effect on them whatsoever? If they don't like homosexual marriage, then all they have to do is go ahead and not marry someone of their same gender. Problem solved, issue averted, they can officially get over it. But to mandate that other people can't marry the person they love? That's officially crossing the line into attempting to control other people's lives for religious reasons. How does it hurt a heterosexual couple if a pair of homosexuals get married? It doesn't hurt them at all! I'm a heterosexual man married to a heterosexual woman, and guess what? Our marriage is not in any way impacted by homosexuals wanting to get married. It doesn't hurt us, it doesn't affect us, it doesn't ruin the sanctity of our union, or do any of the other ridiculous things that right wing nut job religious people rant about.
Another half of a page of this letter is focused on how if the U.S. elects Obama as president we will suddenly have hard core pornography showing on all television channels at any time of the day. Besides the obvious issues of how Christians are afraid of sexuality aside, it's beyond obvious how this would never happen, and even if by some weird fluke it did, it certainly wouldn't happen within the next four years. I mean come on, porn on regular T.V. stations? First of all, cable T.V. providers wouldn't display this kind of content on regular channels because they know they can charge more for it by putting it on a higher end package, but secondly there are enough religious people who work for these stations who would throw a fit that it wouldn't ever happen. Then there also happens to be that little organization known as the FCC. Apparently the writer of this letter forgot all about the absurdly massive fine that was leveled because of Janet Jackson's accidental boob shot in the super bowl. Would an agency that charged a fee because of an accidental one second long boob shot really allow full on pornography on television? That's officially gone past absurdity into sheer insanity. This would actually be a bad thing for me, since I don't watch television, and I love porn. Oh yeah, and the person who wrote this also wants people to think that he/she/they don't also love porn. Guess what? They are lying. Every man, woman, and child on this planet masturbates. You do it, I do it, my wife does it, your "innocent" teenage kid does it, the guy down the street does it, the pastor at your local church does it. The sooner that people are willing to accept this fact and move on, the sooner we can get past this whole "be ashamed of our bodies" nonsense that Christianity likes to champion.
There is also a fundamental lack of understanding of our political processes exhibited in this letter. They mention about how it was O.K. for president Bush to fire some district attorneys but how it was wrong for Clinton to do it and how it will be wrong for Obama to do it. These people need to go back to high school and take the Junior year required course on Government. There is no "firing" and "re-hiring" of district attorneys. It is REQUIRED that all Presidents appoint attorneys when they are elected. They can choose to re-appoint those who are still there if they want or they can get rid of all of them and appoint entirely new people. No President in the history of the U.S. whether Republican or Democrat has ever paid attention to all of these appointees. There are too may for it to be feasible. They have cabinet members who take care of these decisions for them based on their platform.
The letter also states that Obama's tax plan would affect middle class people who "saved" their money wisely. Did this writer even watch the presidential debates? Did they read Obama's tax plan? Obama's plan will raise taxes for people who make $250,000 or more PER YEAR. Not people who just happened to have saved that amount or more. If you are making a quarter of a million dollars every year, you are not in the middle class. You are rich and you can afford to shoulder more of the burden, like the people who own Focus on the Family that want to make sure they can keep getting richer.
Shouldn't Christians actively want these doomsday scenarios to occur? If this sort of shit happens won't it bring them one step closer to the "End Times" so that they can all be abducted by aliens, er, I mean Jesus and go to heaven for all time while we poor sinners are left here to fend for ourselves? Seriously, aren't Christians actively working against God's will by voting for a conservative Republican like John Mcain? They should want to have people who disagree with them in public office so that the Antichrist can make a one world government and bring about their mythical Ragnorak, er, Rapture and go to their fairy tale afterlife.
Five out of sixteen pages of this document deals with how the very fabric of reality will unravel and existence itself will implode if we stop persecuting homosexuals and give them equal rights to marry. Seriously, the connections made between homosexual marriage, and well, everything else in this letter are so tenuous and outright ridiculous that absolutely no one with a brain could take this seriously. According to the author of this letter Christian books, talk radio, Christian doctors, private schools, home schooling, and all churches across the nation will cease to exist because of homosexuality. There will also be terrorist attacks on the U.S. and Russia will invade other countries in Europe because of homosexuality. Why do these people hate homosexuals so much? Why do they fear a sexual orientation that is different from theirs? Do they not realize that homosexual couples have absolutely no effect on them whatsoever? If they don't like homosexual marriage, then all they have to do is go ahead and not marry someone of their same gender. Problem solved, issue averted, they can officially get over it. But to mandate that other people can't marry the person they love? That's officially crossing the line into attempting to control other people's lives for religious reasons. How does it hurt a heterosexual couple if a pair of homosexuals get married? It doesn't hurt them at all! I'm a heterosexual man married to a heterosexual woman, and guess what? Our marriage is not in any way impacted by homosexuals wanting to get married. It doesn't hurt us, it doesn't affect us, it doesn't ruin the sanctity of our union, or do any of the other ridiculous things that right wing nut job religious people rant about.
Another half of a page of this letter is focused on how if the U.S. elects Obama as president we will suddenly have hard core pornography showing on all television channels at any time of the day. Besides the obvious issues of how Christians are afraid of sexuality aside, it's beyond obvious how this would never happen, and even if by some weird fluke it did, it certainly wouldn't happen within the next four years. I mean come on, porn on regular T.V. stations? First of all, cable T.V. providers wouldn't display this kind of content on regular channels because they know they can charge more for it by putting it on a higher end package, but secondly there are enough religious people who work for these stations who would throw a fit that it wouldn't ever happen. Then there also happens to be that little organization known as the FCC. Apparently the writer of this letter forgot all about the absurdly massive fine that was leveled because of Janet Jackson's accidental boob shot in the super bowl. Would an agency that charged a fee because of an accidental one second long boob shot really allow full on pornography on television? That's officially gone past absurdity into sheer insanity. This would actually be a bad thing for me, since I don't watch television, and I love porn. Oh yeah, and the person who wrote this also wants people to think that he/she/they don't also love porn. Guess what? They are lying. Every man, woman, and child on this planet masturbates. You do it, I do it, my wife does it, your "innocent" teenage kid does it, the guy down the street does it, the pastor at your local church does it. The sooner that people are willing to accept this fact and move on, the sooner we can get past this whole "be ashamed of our bodies" nonsense that Christianity likes to champion.
There is also a fundamental lack of understanding of our political processes exhibited in this letter. They mention about how it was O.K. for president Bush to fire some district attorneys but how it was wrong for Clinton to do it and how it will be wrong for Obama to do it. These people need to go back to high school and take the Junior year required course on Government. There is no "firing" and "re-hiring" of district attorneys. It is REQUIRED that all Presidents appoint attorneys when they are elected. They can choose to re-appoint those who are still there if they want or they can get rid of all of them and appoint entirely new people. No President in the history of the U.S. whether Republican or Democrat has ever paid attention to all of these appointees. There are too may for it to be feasible. They have cabinet members who take care of these decisions for them based on their platform.
The letter also states that Obama's tax plan would affect middle class people who "saved" their money wisely. Did this writer even watch the presidential debates? Did they read Obama's tax plan? Obama's plan will raise taxes for people who make $250,000 or more PER YEAR. Not people who just happened to have saved that amount or more. If you are making a quarter of a million dollars every year, you are not in the middle class. You are rich and you can afford to shoulder more of the burden, like the people who own Focus on the Family that want to make sure they can keep getting richer.
Shouldn't Christians actively want these doomsday scenarios to occur? If this sort of shit happens won't it bring them one step closer to the "End Times" so that they can all be abducted by aliens, er, I mean Jesus and go to heaven for all time while we poor sinners are left here to fend for ourselves? Seriously, aren't Christians actively working against God's will by voting for a conservative Republican like John Mcain? They should want to have people who disagree with them in public office so that the Antichrist can make a one world government and bring about their mythical Ragnorak, er, Rapture and go to their fairy tale afterlife.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
The Global Flood
The Bible story of the global flood that was used as a "re-boot" of humanity because of their wickedness has always held a special place in the hallowed halls of things that really piss me off. Before tearing into the story proper, let’s have a few words on the background of this story. Lots of religious folk, especially among the Baptist and Protestant denominations, believe that people who inhabited the earth in the time frame of the early chapters of the book of Genesis lived for hundreds to thousands of years and had an advanced culture that rivaled our own. How could this be? According to this "theory," there was a massive canopy of water that surrounded the entire planet, either just floating around in the atmosphere or actually outside in space itself. Somehow this canopy of water filtered out the harmful UV rays from the sun, allowing people to enjoy massively long life spans. People who ascribe to this belief will give cryptic statements meant to pique interest by intimating that these people lived in a culture just as advanced as ours where they had mastered things like space travel and advanced engineering.
That particular piece of nonsense aside, the story of the Flood is truly, irrevocably messed up. Let's think about this logically. God creates man. Think about the ramifications of that statement. If God created man, then he also created all of man's feelings, urges, and predispositions. According to the Bible God is also knows all things that have occurred and will occur in the future, as he is omniscient. Put those two thoughts together. God makes man to be the way that God wants him to be, and God also knows exactly how men will react if put into certain situations. So then God decides that man, which he created, has become too violent and needs to be eradicated and started over. What. The. Fuck. God makes man with the predisposition to be violent, and because he can see into the future he knows that men will eventually reach a critical mass of violence that He can't tolerate, yet he goes ahead and punishes them for it anyway? Could someone also please explain to me how murdering every person on the planet is a proper, non-hypocritical, response to people who are too violent? Last time I checked, mass genocide on a world wide scale is about as violent as you can get.
Then there is also the canopy of water theory to take into account. People who believe this theory think that the canopy of water was dropped onto the Earth all at once, which is how the entire surface of the planet was flooded in this story. Remember how we went over that God can see the future? That means that this whole act of worldwide genocide was pre-meditated. God specifically made this canopy of water knowing full well that he was going to utterly wipe out his creation with it later when they pissed Him off for doing what He made them to do. Anyone who doesn't find that to be thoroughly disturbing needs to seek professional psychiatric treatment immediately.
That particular piece of nonsense aside, the story of the Flood is truly, irrevocably messed up. Let's think about this logically. God creates man. Think about the ramifications of that statement. If God created man, then he also created all of man's feelings, urges, and predispositions. According to the Bible God is also knows all things that have occurred and will occur in the future, as he is omniscient. Put those two thoughts together. God makes man to be the way that God wants him to be, and God also knows exactly how men will react if put into certain situations. So then God decides that man, which he created, has become too violent and needs to be eradicated and started over. What. The. Fuck. God makes man with the predisposition to be violent, and because he can see into the future he knows that men will eventually reach a critical mass of violence that He can't tolerate, yet he goes ahead and punishes them for it anyway? Could someone also please explain to me how murdering every person on the planet is a proper, non-hypocritical, response to people who are too violent? Last time I checked, mass genocide on a world wide scale is about as violent as you can get.
Then there is also the canopy of water theory to take into account. People who believe this theory think that the canopy of water was dropped onto the Earth all at once, which is how the entire surface of the planet was flooded in this story. Remember how we went over that God can see the future? That means that this whole act of worldwide genocide was pre-meditated. God specifically made this canopy of water knowing full well that he was going to utterly wipe out his creation with it later when they pissed Him off for doing what He made them to do. Anyone who doesn't find that to be thoroughly disturbing needs to seek professional psychiatric treatment immediately.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Hilarity from the outback, or why pastors shouldn't hide their porn stash
I am currently experiencing equal bouts of giddy joy and complete befuddlement with the news of Australian pastor Michael Guglielmucci’s admission that he completely made up his two year battle with deadly cancer to cover up his love of pornography. I am always overjoyed when hypocritical religious folk reach beyond their grasp to become what amounts to cult leaders over thousands of people and then go plummeting back to earth when it becomes revealed that they do all the same stuff the rest of us do. Ted Haggard is a personal favorite of mine (I bought the drugs, but I didn’t use them. Well, yes, I did buy them from a gay prostitute whom I’d been seeing for months, but no we didn’t have sex, really!) but there are plenty of other examples of holier-than-thou types self destructing in a spectacular fashion in the public arena.
What’s so odd about Guglielmucci is the fashion in which he self destructed. I’m not sure why he felt the need to make up a terminal illness, going so far as to wear an oxygen tube and fashioning fake correspondences with doctors, to hide the fact that he liked to masturbate while watching people having sex. It’s not like this is some huge secret that no one knows about. Whether religious people want to admit it or not, everyone gets sexually aroused, and everyone takes care of those urges in one manner or another. It’s human nature. We are sexual creatures, we like to see each other naked, and we most definitely all masturbate. That lady from your church who goes “Ugh, gross, of course I would never do anything like that!” well guess what – she masturbates too.
This guy really could of saved himself, his family, and his congregation a lot of heart ache if he’d just told people he was going in the other room to whack it to some porn instead of fabricating an elaborate lie that is potentially going to have legal ramifications for him. Oh I didn’t mention that? He had a fund set up to help defray the costs of his “medical expenses” caused by his cancer. Tammy Faye eat your heart out!
Of more immediate hilarity is the song “Healer” that Guglielmucci wrote, which has absurdly sexual undertones if you look at it in light of recent events. A video of him singing the song can be viewed below. I dare you to listen to this without bursting out in laughter. “Hold my every moment” (tee hee), “Calm my raging seas” (GUFFAW!). Go ahead and throw in your own commentary or extra lines, such as when he sings that nothing is impossible for Jesus (except to reveal to his family that he doesn’t have cancer and was jerking off all the time), or make up a little diddy to the tune of the song about how he just wants some of that awesome Heaven brand lube that Jesus keeps to himself up in the clouds and won’t share with poor old Michael.
Life is so damn good.
Anyone interested is viewing the original news stories can find them here and here.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Why Christians Will Always Oppose Peace
Christianity cannot coexist with a world that fully supports total peace between all peoples, governments, and religions. Christianity and peace are mortal enemies. Peace is anathema to the entire mythology of the Christian religion. Christians are fond of quoting the Bible verse Matthew 24:6, which says in part "You are going to hear wars, and rumors of wars..." to explain why our generation is currently in the "end times" when Jesus is going to come down from the clouds and take his true believers (the true believers, of course, being whatever denomination the speaker is a member of....) back to heaven and submit all the silly folk who refused the "truth" to years of what amounts to hell on Earth as God pours out his wrath as described in the book of Revelations. There can be no peace on Earth as long as Christianity holds a majority of the world. Because if peace exists, then there is no reason for people to become Christians. Without fear, there is no drive to give your soul up to the Christian religion. If there is no war and no hate, then Christians cannot use scare tactics to bring more numbers into their fold. There can be no "Look what the Bible says, wars and rumors of war, wouldn't you rather be safe than sorry? The end times are here! What if Jesus comes back tomorrow, won't you be ready?"
If there is total peace on Earth, then there is no reason to convert to Christianity. Without war, Jesus can't come back. According to evangelical baptist Christianity, Russia must go to war with Israel to hail the time of the rapture. If there is no military conflict, Jesus never comes back. People like to completely misconstrue what John Lennon said when he stated that he was more popular than Jesus Christ. Jesus and John Lennon both preached the same message, yet the followers of both of their beliefs act in radically different ways. Followers of John Lennon smoke pot and protest against the war in Iraq and desire peace. Followers of Jesus support taking away the rights of homosexuals and bombing middle eastern countries and putting pot smokers in jail. They both preached the idea that "blessed are the peacemakers" and "the meek shall inherit the earth" and "he who has no sin cast the first stone" yet both have followers who are completely opposed to one another.
Could it be then, that in two thousand years, people will have created a religion around John Lennon which supports intolerance, prejudice, and hatred, completely ignoring what the man himself said?
Support peace, oppose Christianity.
If there is total peace on Earth, then there is no reason to convert to Christianity. Without war, Jesus can't come back. According to evangelical baptist Christianity, Russia must go to war with Israel to hail the time of the rapture. If there is no military conflict, Jesus never comes back. People like to completely misconstrue what John Lennon said when he stated that he was more popular than Jesus Christ. Jesus and John Lennon both preached the same message, yet the followers of both of their beliefs act in radically different ways. Followers of John Lennon smoke pot and protest against the war in Iraq and desire peace. Followers of Jesus support taking away the rights of homosexuals and bombing middle eastern countries and putting pot smokers in jail. They both preached the idea that "blessed are the peacemakers" and "the meek shall inherit the earth" and "he who has no sin cast the first stone" yet both have followers who are completely opposed to one another.
Could it be then, that in two thousand years, people will have created a religion around John Lennon which supports intolerance, prejudice, and hatred, completely ignoring what the man himself said?
Support peace, oppose Christianity.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Some Recipes We Have Tried Out Recently
My wife Megan has been trying out many new recipes from the site Allrecipes.com lately, and pretty much all of them have been absolute hits. Megan's favorite is a pork chop recipe that cooks the chops in a raspberry honey sauce with diced up pecans. At first the combination sounded like it could be disastrous but it really does work out. There's just enough sweetness to offset the meaty pork flavor and the crunch of the pecans adds a little something to make it a stellar dish.
The previously mentioned rum cake was made last night for our weekly gaming session. Megan added nuts to the bottom of the bundt cake pan so that the cake would have a pretty and decorative top when it came out of the oven. The recipe said to not use Captain Morgan as it would be too strong, but we like our Captain Morgan Tatoo so we went with it anyway, and it was just the perfect amount of rum flavor. Although the alcohol gets cooked out of the cake, the glaze uses a lot of the rum and doesn't get cooked, so you could theoretically get a little buzzed if you ate enough of it.
Another recipe of note that sounded a bit odd to begin with was the turkey burgers that had chipotle peppers and adobe sauce added directly into the meat before forming them into patties. These are magnificent and you don't even think about the fact that it's turkey instead of beef because of how flavorful they are. The recipe called for only a single pepper and a small amount of the sauce, but we bought a whole can of them so Megan threw the whole thing in. It was pretty spicy, but nothing too out of control and adding mayo or mustard really calmed it down.
The previously mentioned rum cake was made last night for our weekly gaming session. Megan added nuts to the bottom of the bundt cake pan so that the cake would have a pretty and decorative top when it came out of the oven. The recipe said to not use Captain Morgan as it would be too strong, but we like our Captain Morgan Tatoo so we went with it anyway, and it was just the perfect amount of rum flavor. Although the alcohol gets cooked out of the cake, the glaze uses a lot of the rum and doesn't get cooked, so you could theoretically get a little buzzed if you ate enough of it.
Another recipe of note that sounded a bit odd to begin with was the turkey burgers that had chipotle peppers and adobe sauce added directly into the meat before forming them into patties. These are magnificent and you don't even think about the fact that it's turkey instead of beef because of how flavorful they are. The recipe called for only a single pepper and a small amount of the sauce, but we bought a whole can of them so Megan threw the whole thing in. It was pretty spicy, but nothing too out of control and adding mayo or mustard really calmed it down.
June Musical Releases
I guess it's a little late as today is the first day of July, but there were a couple of notable June musical releases that I didn't want to skip over.
First and foremost was the new Opeth album "Watershed". Talk about unexpected! This is probably even more of a radical departure for them than their "Damnation" album which was entirely mellow with no growling. There is a much heavier emphasis on the prog rock feel than in previous albums, and the nature of the lyrics has changed pretty radically. The album also marks the first time Opeth has thrown in female vocals, although they only take place on the first song. Even though it's very different than the Opeth of old I'll still have to recommend it to everyone who likes any style of music. I wrote a full review of the album on Metalunderground.com if anyone is interested in reading it.
The other major release of the month was the new Moonspell album "Night Eternal". It's in the running for their best album ever, with plenty of heavy and oppressive stuff and a good deal of catchy material as well. Although Moonspell has utilized female vocals on several previous albums, this is the first time that vocalist Fernando has done a duet with a woman, and it sounds great! The duet areas sound a lot like Tristania, so anyone who liked that band will probably love this album.
Hopefully the "July Musical Releases" post will come in a more timely fashion!
First and foremost was the new Opeth album "Watershed". Talk about unexpected! This is probably even more of a radical departure for them than their "Damnation" album which was entirely mellow with no growling. There is a much heavier emphasis on the prog rock feel than in previous albums, and the nature of the lyrics has changed pretty radically. The album also marks the first time Opeth has thrown in female vocals, although they only take place on the first song. Even though it's very different than the Opeth of old I'll still have to recommend it to everyone who likes any style of music. I wrote a full review of the album on Metalunderground.com if anyone is interested in reading it.
The other major release of the month was the new Moonspell album "Night Eternal". It's in the running for their best album ever, with plenty of heavy and oppressive stuff and a good deal of catchy material as well. Although Moonspell has utilized female vocals on several previous albums, this is the first time that vocalist Fernando has done a duet with a woman, and it sounds great! The duet areas sound a lot like Tristania, so anyone who liked that band will probably love this album.
Hopefully the "July Musical Releases" post will come in a more timely fashion!
Early Futurama
I picked up the new full length Futurama movies "Bender's Big Score" and "The Beast With a Billion Backs" the other day, and as I sat down to watch them I discovered to my horror that my brother-in-law Matt knew next to nothing about the show and had only seen an episode or two. We decided this needed to be rectified so we went out and got the first season on DVD so he could watch the early episodes and get a good grasp of the various story lines and what was going on with the main characters.
While watching the first season I realized that the first few episodes really are like Simpson's clones. There are frequently characters, voices, and situations that look like they should have been occurring in any given episode of the Simpson's. There's a guy talking in a stereotypical Indian accent, a jerk who says things very similar to the Nelson character, and random storyline arcs that wouldn't at all be out of place in an episode of that long running show. I guess that prob ably shouldn't be such a surprise considering the show was created by Matt Groening, but I'm just glad it managed to distinguish itself apart from the Simpson's and even overtake them and become the funnier show.
The voice actor's really hadn't gotten their craft nailed down yet in the early episodes either, especially the voices of Bender and the Professor. They are both delivered in a rather lackluster manner with none of the emotion and grandiose that would become typical of those characters later on in the series.
Futurama really hits it's stride at the fourth episode, "Love's Labours Lost in Space". Even though the voices problem hadn't been entirely resolved yet, this episode is rife with the zany antics the show becomes famous for and Fry gets to deliver some of his best lines in the series. My favorite moment is when they are being held in a jail cell and Fry says "Why don't you open that steam pipe Bender so we can escape?", and then when it's opened and the room fills with hot steam he shouts "No good, it's full of steam!"
While watching the first season I realized that the first few episodes really are like Simpson's clones. There are frequently characters, voices, and situations that look like they should have been occurring in any given episode of the Simpson's. There's a guy talking in a stereotypical Indian accent, a jerk who says things very similar to the Nelson character, and random storyline arcs that wouldn't at all be out of place in an episode of that long running show. I guess that prob ably shouldn't be such a surprise considering the show was created by Matt Groening, but I'm just glad it managed to distinguish itself apart from the Simpson's and even overtake them and become the funnier show.
The voice actor's really hadn't gotten their craft nailed down yet in the early episodes either, especially the voices of Bender and the Professor. They are both delivered in a rather lackluster manner with none of the emotion and grandiose that would become typical of those characters later on in the series.
Futurama really hits it's stride at the fourth episode, "Love's Labours Lost in Space". Even though the voices problem hadn't been entirely resolved yet, this episode is rife with the zany antics the show becomes famous for and Fry gets to deliver some of his best lines in the series. My favorite moment is when they are being held in a jail cell and Fry says "Why don't you open that steam pipe Bender so we can escape?", and then when it's opened and the room fills with hot steam he shouts "No good, it's full of steam!"
Monday, June 30, 2008
Rikki's Pizza and Pasta
Just a few blocks away from my house is a cute little pizzeria and bar called Rikki's Pizza and Pasta. It moved in when McKenzie River Pizza moved out, and in all that intervening time I never gave the restaurant much thought. I recently gave it a shot with my wife for lunch and found that it has some very interesting items on the menu that I've been missing out on. It was a little early in the day for beer, so unfortunately I can't comment on the alcohol options, but the food was great. There is an entire post below about their take on artichoke dip. They also have other appetizers that I'll have to try some time, like what they call "dry ribs" which are basically bite sized ribs in a spicy seasoning, as well as a lobster dish.
It was tough picking out my meal because there were so many good things to choose from. The salads all sounded amazing and used ingredients that the standard restaurant would never think to throw in. Even the normally hum drum sandwiches all had a twist that drew my attention. In the end I settled on the Angry Lobster Pasta. It's a tomato based pasta but done extra spicy, with asparagus and lobster cooked in. The word "magnificent" only just about covers it. Megan had Florentine Ravioli, which also definitely a winner.
It was tough picking out my meal because there were so many good things to choose from. The salads all sounded amazing and used ingredients that the standard restaurant would never think to throw in. Even the normally hum drum sandwiches all had a twist that drew my attention. In the end I settled on the Angry Lobster Pasta. It's a tomato based pasta but done extra spicy, with asparagus and lobster cooked in. The word "magnificent" only just about covers it. Megan had Florentine Ravioli, which also definitely a winner.
Our Second Wedding Anniversary Part II
We went to check into the hotel where we stayed for both our honeymoon and first anniversary, the Townhouse Inn. We originally chose it because it was one of the few hotels in our town that has a room with a jacuzzi for a decent price, and since then it's just become tradition to stay each year. We forgot that their check in is at 3:00 PM instead of the more standard 2:00 PM, so the room unfortunately wasn't ready yet. We headed off to Hastings, which is probably my favorite store, to waste some time looking at books and movies. A guy I knew from middle school was playing an acoustic show live in the Cafe, but I'm not particularly a fan of his style of music so we didn't stay and watch.
Returning to the hotel we noticed a sign saying there would be renovations that might affect our stay. After checking with the desk they assured us the pool and sauna would still be available. This is a big deal for us, because bringing family over for swimming is part of our anniversary tradition. We got settled in and went out for a preliminary swim and hot tub stay as we had some time to spend. The hot tub felt great after all that walking earlier! We were pretty tired from all we had done already, so we took a short nap before getting ready for dinner.
We had planned on eating at the newly opened Macaroni Grill because we both were in the mood for some great pasta, but there was a very long wait and we hadn't got reservations, so we went off to Jaker's instead. Their soup and salad bar is something that we love to indulge in every now and again. They hand make their own croutons and cut them very thick, and have several amazing soups like the lobster bisque. Megan got the salad bar (and I picked off her plate every now and again!) and I chose the lobster linguine. There's just something awesome about mixing lobster with pasta, especially lighter Alfredo or wine based sauces. It can be good with a heavier tomato based sauce, but that takes a little more effort to pull off well. Jakers is one of the few places in town that offers Guiness on tap, which we both love. I had a Guiness and Megan had a Beltian white with a slice of orange, which we both shared with each other. Stuffed to the brim, we went back to the hotel and waited awhile to let our stomach's settle before bringing our guests over for swimming.
Megan was planning on making a rum cake for our gaming session this week, so we had a lot of extra Captain Morgan's Tatoo and Bacardi 151 around, which we took many shots of before and during hot tubbing. Yeah, yeah, the sign says not to drink and then get in the hot tub, but trust me on this one, it's one of the great pleasures in life. It was incredibly hot out, so moving between the relaxing hot tub and the chilly pool was a great time!
Returning to the hotel we noticed a sign saying there would be renovations that might affect our stay. After checking with the desk they assured us the pool and sauna would still be available. This is a big deal for us, because bringing family over for swimming is part of our anniversary tradition. We got settled in and went out for a preliminary swim and hot tub stay as we had some time to spend. The hot tub felt great after all that walking earlier! We were pretty tired from all we had done already, so we took a short nap before getting ready for dinner.
We had planned on eating at the newly opened Macaroni Grill because we both were in the mood for some great pasta, but there was a very long wait and we hadn't got reservations, so we went off to Jaker's instead. Their soup and salad bar is something that we love to indulge in every now and again. They hand make their own croutons and cut them very thick, and have several amazing soups like the lobster bisque. Megan got the salad bar (and I picked off her plate every now and again!) and I chose the lobster linguine. There's just something awesome about mixing lobster with pasta, especially lighter Alfredo or wine based sauces. It can be good with a heavier tomato based sauce, but that takes a little more effort to pull off well. Jakers is one of the few places in town that offers Guiness on tap, which we both love. I had a Guiness and Megan had a Beltian white with a slice of orange, which we both shared with each other. Stuffed to the brim, we went back to the hotel and waited awhile to let our stomach's settle before bringing our guests over for swimming.
Megan was planning on making a rum cake for our gaming session this week, so we had a lot of extra Captain Morgan's Tatoo and Bacardi 151 around, which we took many shots of before and during hot tubbing. Yeah, yeah, the sign says not to drink and then get in the hot tub, but trust me on this one, it's one of the great pleasures in life. It was incredibly hot out, so moving between the relaxing hot tub and the chilly pool was a great time!
Our Second Wedding Anniversary Part I
My wife and I just celebrated our second wedding anniversary, and we couldn't be happier! The second year seemed like it flew by a lot faster than the first. We wanted to do something special for our anniversary to celebrate having just quit our jobs, so the first order of the day was to walk to the Farmer's Market and enjoy the sites there (see posts below for that story!). After making several circuits around the market and buying everything we wanted we moved on to exploring the downtown area on foot. Our town isn't a major metropolitan area by any stretch of the imagination, but we still have quite a few fun shops to check out down town. The store In Cahoots For Tea is a favorite of ours, with all of their tea related items and variety of mustards, jams, and foreign candies. They frequently stock chocolate bars from England and even have the Scottish carbonated drink Irn Bru. Just next door is Candy Masterpiece, which actually makes the majority of their candy right there. Although I'm a sucker for truffles, we were still a little full from all the food at the Market and wanted to make sure we had room for lunch, so we skipped out this time.
We headed off to Gibson Park to get some anniversary photos to share, but it was starting to get too hot out and the mosquitoes were coming out in force, so after a brief time there we moved on and plan to return back in a few days to get some better pictures. After a few more quick stops downtown and some sight seeing we headed off to the bus station to head back home briefly. Our bus system doesn't have very many routes that people use frequently and they have found themselves low on funds, so they are stopping bus service on Saturday's going forward. It's a real pity since we were planning on using the bus more often now that we work from home and don't need to drive every day. Lucky for us the bus we took actually goes right by our house, so we hopped out and got all of our stuff together for our hotel stay.
Before checking into the hotel we took my wife's brother out with us for lunch at Boston's. She had been given a gift card for the restaurant by her co-workers as a going away gift that we made good use of. I wanted to branch out from the standard artichoke dip that my wife loves so much and try the boneless buffalo wings, but I also wanted to have a seafood appetizer at our dinner choice later that night. Since my wife hates seafood I figured a good compromise would be to have the artichoke dip and then get a sampler platter at dinner later that had seafood on it. Boston's had some new seasonal items, so I went with the Alexander's Great Gyro, which came with a Greek salad. Putting a new twist on an old favorite, they cut the pita bread into wedges and stuffed them with "gyro meat" (when a menu says gyro meat instead of lamb they mean thinly sliced beef seasoned to taste like lamb), tomatoes, and onions. They ditched the traditional feta cheese and cucumber sauce, and instead provided a Tzatziki dipping sauce. Megan had the Florentine calzone and Matt went with the flying buffalo calzone, which is one of Boston's best menu items.
We headed off to Gibson Park to get some anniversary photos to share, but it was starting to get too hot out and the mosquitoes were coming out in force, so after a brief time there we moved on and plan to return back in a few days to get some better pictures. After a few more quick stops downtown and some sight seeing we headed off to the bus station to head back home briefly. Our bus system doesn't have very many routes that people use frequently and they have found themselves low on funds, so they are stopping bus service on Saturday's going forward. It's a real pity since we were planning on using the bus more often now that we work from home and don't need to drive every day. Lucky for us the bus we took actually goes right by our house, so we hopped out and got all of our stuff together for our hotel stay.
Before checking into the hotel we took my wife's brother out with us for lunch at Boston's. She had been given a gift card for the restaurant by her co-workers as a going away gift that we made good use of. I wanted to branch out from the standard artichoke dip that my wife loves so much and try the boneless buffalo wings, but I also wanted to have a seafood appetizer at our dinner choice later that night. Since my wife hates seafood I figured a good compromise would be to have the artichoke dip and then get a sampler platter at dinner later that had seafood on it. Boston's had some new seasonal items, so I went with the Alexander's Great Gyro, which came with a Greek salad. Putting a new twist on an old favorite, they cut the pita bread into wedges and stuffed them with "gyro meat" (when a menu says gyro meat instead of lamb they mean thinly sliced beef seasoned to taste like lamb), tomatoes, and onions. They ditched the traditional feta cheese and cucumber sauce, and instead provided a Tzatziki dipping sauce. Megan had the Florentine calzone and Matt went with the flying buffalo calzone, which is one of Boston's best menu items.
Comparing Artichoke Dips
A lot of the restaurants in our area offer what is fast become a staple to any appetizer menu - the Artichoke cheese dip. There are a lot of variations on this dip, most containing spinach as well but some of the more adventurous have ingredients like crab or lobster. Some use differing cheeses, although most stick with Parmesan or a combination of Parmesan and heavy cream for a thinner dip. One of my all time favorites was a crab artichoke dip we tried out at the Pike Brewery in Seattle.
The restaurants Bostons and Applebees have consistently good artichoke dip, although they are pretty basic and don't buck the mold. Both have spinach and Parmesan cheese and bake a layer of cheese on top of the dip itself. Both are served with standard fried tortilla chips. It's all around satisfying stuff, but nothing too amazing.
A pizza and pasta parlor just a few blocks from our house called Rikki's has the best artichoke dip in the area. They ditch the spinach and go for a different blend of cheese as well. If I had to guess I'd say there was some cheddar and mozzarella in addition to Parmesan, but the menu didn't divulge which cheeses were used. The dip has more of a liquid consistency than is standard, and also has larger chunks of artichoke. Instead of tortilla chips the bowl of dip is placed directly on top of thin pizza style bread that is covered in Italian seasonings. Kudos to Rikki's for thinking outside the box and coming up with an outstanding dip! They have a lot of different items on their menu that aren't seen in many other restaurants around town, so expect a post all about it!
The restaurants Bostons and Applebees have consistently good artichoke dip, although they are pretty basic and don't buck the mold. Both have spinach and Parmesan cheese and bake a layer of cheese on top of the dip itself. Both are served with standard fried tortilla chips. It's all around satisfying stuff, but nothing too amazing.
A pizza and pasta parlor just a few blocks from our house called Rikki's has the best artichoke dip in the area. They ditch the spinach and go for a different blend of cheese as well. If I had to guess I'd say there was some cheddar and mozzarella in addition to Parmesan, but the menu didn't divulge which cheeses were used. The dip has more of a liquid consistency than is standard, and also has larger chunks of artichoke. Instead of tortilla chips the bowl of dip is placed directly on top of thin pizza style bread that is covered in Italian seasonings. Kudos to Rikki's for thinking outside the box and coming up with an outstanding dip! They have a lot of different items on their menu that aren't seen in many other restaurants around town, so expect a post all about it!
The Farmer's Market Part II
The Farmer's Market has just about everything you could imagine, from hand cream made locally to barbecue sauces and locally processed lamb. The best part of the Market is undoubtedly the food. There were tons of booths that just sold food, and the majority of the merchants selling other items also had a few baked goodies just for good measure. Our first food stop was the pork on a stick. It's the biggest food attraction at the Market and with good reason. It's not hard to find either because they season and cook all the pork on a set of giant grills that sends a big smoke cloud up and the entire area around it smells wonderful. The pork itself is absolutely delicious and cooked just right with some parts tender and juicy and others crispy. While sampling the pork we walked around the Market checking the prices and items available so we could make our purchases on a second walk through once we'd seen it all. There were several areas where musicians were plying their trade, so we were serenaded by violins, fiddles, and choirs.
The next most iconic food at the Market is the Indian fry bread. There are a lot of booths to choose from that serve this, and many of them are raising money for local charities or groups. Each one offers something a little bit different and usually charges a different amount, so with a little looking you can get the best price. The vendor offering the cheapest fry bread had a big line when we walked by, so we moved on to a smaller booth a little ways on a paid an extra 50 cents to get it it sooner. All of the booths offer toppings like honey or powdered sugar, and this one also had a maple mixture similar to frosting that we added on. Fry bread is incredibly messy with toppings on, so we sat down in the nearby garden and attacked with forks and knives rather than eating with our hands while walking.
We were worried about getting too full as we were still planning on going to lunch at a nice restaurant in just a few hours but we wanted to sample more of the culinary offerings, so we settled on a small treat for our final goodie. Our decision was made when we saw a vendor with several tables of baked goods that had strawberry rhubarb struesel that looked too good to pass up. We split a single struesel and we were not disappointed! That same merchant had an interesting looking ample dumpling that we will be trying out next time we hit the Market.
The next most iconic food at the Market is the Indian fry bread. There are a lot of booths to choose from that serve this, and many of them are raising money for local charities or groups. Each one offers something a little bit different and usually charges a different amount, so with a little looking you can get the best price. The vendor offering the cheapest fry bread had a big line when we walked by, so we moved on to a smaller booth a little ways on a paid an extra 50 cents to get it it sooner. All of the booths offer toppings like honey or powdered sugar, and this one also had a maple mixture similar to frosting that we added on. Fry bread is incredibly messy with toppings on, so we sat down in the nearby garden and attacked with forks and knives rather than eating with our hands while walking.
We were worried about getting too full as we were still planning on going to lunch at a nice restaurant in just a few hours but we wanted to sample more of the culinary offerings, so we settled on a small treat for our final goodie. Our decision was made when we saw a vendor with several tables of baked goods that had strawberry rhubarb struesel that looked too good to pass up. We split a single struesel and we were not disappointed! That same merchant had an interesting looking ample dumpling that we will be trying out next time we hit the Market.
The Farmer's Market Part I
Saturday was my second wedding anniversary and the first day after my wife and I had quit our day jobs to work exclusively from home as freelance writers. To start out day out we decided to do something that combines several of our favorite activities by walking down to the local Farmer's Market. We have been unable to make it to the Market yet this year because our work schedules never allowed the time and we definitely missed it! Every since our Seattle trip we have also been taking a long walk each day to train our legs for our Europe adventure next year, so we walked all the way there and took the bus back. Our local bus service has bucked the nation wide trend of increased public transportation and has actually had lowered usage, which has caused the bus system to stop offering it's service on Saturdays. Luckily this was the final Saturday that they would be running their normal routes so we were still able to take the bus back home.
The walk down was very nice as we have just hit our warm season. We left very early to make sure we could get home before it get to the projected ninety degree high. Mosquitoes are a problem in our area because of the river nearby, but a little bug spray made it more tolerable. The Market was very busy and we frequently saw people we knew who were either selling things themselves at booths or just perusing the various wares. Despite it's name, the Market isn't just limited to produce or meat. Lots of locals sell a variety of crafts like jewelry, soap, candles, and tie dye clothing. The various coffee shops were also there in force, offering many hot and cold beverages for all the thirsty shoppers.
While we were making our first circuit through the Market we found a bead jewelry booth that was offering free bead rings to anyone. My wife and I picked some out on put them on the ring finger of our opposite hands so it was like we had two wedding rings. Very appropriate for our anniversary, and they will be fun reminder of the great time we had this year!
The walk down was very nice as we have just hit our warm season. We left very early to make sure we could get home before it get to the projected ninety degree high. Mosquitoes are a problem in our area because of the river nearby, but a little bug spray made it more tolerable. The Market was very busy and we frequently saw people we knew who were either selling things themselves at booths or just perusing the various wares. Despite it's name, the Market isn't just limited to produce or meat. Lots of locals sell a variety of crafts like jewelry, soap, candles, and tie dye clothing. The various coffee shops were also there in force, offering many hot and cold beverages for all the thirsty shoppers.
While we were making our first circuit through the Market we found a bead jewelry booth that was offering free bead rings to anyone. My wife and I picked some out on put them on the ring finger of our opposite hands so it was like we had two wedding rings. Very appropriate for our anniversary, and they will be fun reminder of the great time we had this year!
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
The Oreo Cookie Faux Pas
A terrible tragedy happened at our weekly gaming session this last Monday. My brother in law committed the worst of all food related sins - the Oreo Cookie Faux Pas. You may not have had the misfortune to experience this particular gaffe, and if so consider yourself among the lucky few who have not been exposed to the terror. The Oro Cookie Faux Pas is paradoxically spawned from one of the most beautiful things you can do with Oreo's. Yes, I speak of the mythical quadruple stuffed Oreo. Everything starts out as sunshine and lollipops as you remove the stuffing from one double stuffed Oreo and layer into a second double stuffed, creating a massive tower of Oreo stuffing.
But what fate awaits the remaining two ends of the cookie discarded in favor of the delicious stuffing? The considerate folk will eat them, or at least throw them away if they really don't want them. And the not so considerate ? Well, they commit the faux pas of returning the cookie ends to the Oreo bag, so that the next person to reach their hand in comes up not with an amazing feat of cookie engineering, but instead gets the most horrifying experience of all, an Oreo with no filling.
Educate your friends and family about this terrible practice, so that we can together rid the world of the Oreo Cookie Faux Pas.
But what fate awaits the remaining two ends of the cookie discarded in favor of the delicious stuffing? The considerate folk will eat them, or at least throw them away if they really don't want them. And the not so considerate ? Well, they commit the faux pas of returning the cookie ends to the Oreo bag, so that the next person to reach their hand in comes up not with an amazing feat of cookie engineering, but instead gets the most horrifying experience of all, an Oreo with no filling.
Educate your friends and family about this terrible practice, so that we can together rid the world of the Oreo Cookie Faux Pas.
Friday, May 30, 2008
The Coldfire Trilogy
Another one of those authors who feels the need to keep their first and middle names shrouded in mystery on the covers of books, C.S. Friedman is better known for writing science fiction novels such as "This Alien Shore" and "In Conquest Born" than for fantasy. In the early nineties Friedman wrote a set of novels rooted in science fiction but expressed through fantasy called The Coldfire Trilogy. The premise of the series was based on the familiar science fiction concept of humanity sending a massive ship from Earth out into the unknown reaches of deep space to find a new planet to colonize. Once the ship landed, the colonists of course were confronted with a veritable deluge of issues that they could not have foreseen or been prepared for.
The planet the colonists landed on, Erna, has a very strange quality not present on earth. Erna has some sort of energy referred to as the Fae which seems to emanate from below the planet's surface. This force, entirely alien and unknown to humanity, reacts to the emotions of humans and causes spontaneous changes that shouldn't be scientifically possible. The stronger and more prevalent the emotion, the more likely a change is to occur. The collective fear of a people could spawn whole species of monstrous creatures. Early on in the colony's history one of the most prominent colonists decides to completely destroy their space traveling vessel, stranding all of the people on Erna to contend on their own with the Fae and leaving them no ability to communicate with their home world.
These science fiction concepts are mostly kept firmly in the background of the story, which is most decidedly a fantasy tale. Many years after the destruction of the colony's space ship humanity has spread across the continent and built themselves into a standard fantasy quasi-medieval society with only a few vestiges of the technology that they once mastered. Humans have found ways to mold and shape the Fae to their liking in a method not at all dissimilar to the tales of the past of wizards who could work magic. Some few blessed people are even born Adepts, with a natural talent to see and work the Fae that others can only dream of. The main character is Damien Vryce, a priest of the Church of Human Unification. He hails from a sect of the church that is more tolerant of sorcerers than the rest of the organization. Damien finds himself repeatedly at odds with one of the leaders of his church, who seeks to eradicate the Fae entirely, or at the very least render humans unable to use it.
One of the most compelling aspects of the series is Damien's internal struggle as he comes into conflict with his Church and his beliefs. He eventually meets with the Church's founder and discovers that his entire system of beliefs was originally created for reasons that are entirely at odds with how those beliefs are taught in the present time. He is forced to work with individuals he would normally kill outright for the good of his Church and the people it is sworn to protect, even though his Church may brand him a heretic for it.
The other reason these books are of note is their overall idea. In a world where reality can be changed based on the number of people who believe something, nearly anything can be possible. The Church of Human Unification is based on church beliefs and practices from the long ago time of Earth, and the highest leaders of the church are working to have enough people follow their practices so that the deity they believe in will actually come into existence, if that deity doesn't exist already. The idea of men creating a God based on the strength of their belief is a highly intriguing one that can spawn many a nights pondering.
The planet the colonists landed on, Erna, has a very strange quality not present on earth. Erna has some sort of energy referred to as the Fae which seems to emanate from below the planet's surface. This force, entirely alien and unknown to humanity, reacts to the emotions of humans and causes spontaneous changes that shouldn't be scientifically possible. The stronger and more prevalent the emotion, the more likely a change is to occur. The collective fear of a people could spawn whole species of monstrous creatures. Early on in the colony's history one of the most prominent colonists decides to completely destroy their space traveling vessel, stranding all of the people on Erna to contend on their own with the Fae and leaving them no ability to communicate with their home world.
These science fiction concepts are mostly kept firmly in the background of the story, which is most decidedly a fantasy tale. Many years after the destruction of the colony's space ship humanity has spread across the continent and built themselves into a standard fantasy quasi-medieval society with only a few vestiges of the technology that they once mastered. Humans have found ways to mold and shape the Fae to their liking in a method not at all dissimilar to the tales of the past of wizards who could work magic. Some few blessed people are even born Adepts, with a natural talent to see and work the Fae that others can only dream of. The main character is Damien Vryce, a priest of the Church of Human Unification. He hails from a sect of the church that is more tolerant of sorcerers than the rest of the organization. Damien finds himself repeatedly at odds with one of the leaders of his church, who seeks to eradicate the Fae entirely, or at the very least render humans unable to use it.
One of the most compelling aspects of the series is Damien's internal struggle as he comes into conflict with his Church and his beliefs. He eventually meets with the Church's founder and discovers that his entire system of beliefs was originally created for reasons that are entirely at odds with how those beliefs are taught in the present time. He is forced to work with individuals he would normally kill outright for the good of his Church and the people it is sworn to protect, even though his Church may brand him a heretic for it.
The other reason these books are of note is their overall idea. In a world where reality can be changed based on the number of people who believe something, nearly anything can be possible. The Church of Human Unification is based on church beliefs and practices from the long ago time of Earth, and the highest leaders of the church are working to have enough people follow their practices so that the deity they believe in will actually come into existence, if that deity doesn't exist already. The idea of men creating a God based on the strength of their belief is a highly intriguing one that can spawn many a nights pondering.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Rai-Kirah Trilogy
Carol Berg is a name that has been picking up steam lately in the fantasy genre. For those unfamiliar with her books, she writes almost exclusively in the first person perspective, and has a habit of making the main character either in extreme emotional duress or otherwise conflicted somehow. This method of writing is intended to make the character's plight hit closer to home and have a deeper impact on the reader, and it's a bit hit or miss with Carol Berg. Her first novel, "Song of the Beast" (actually published as her fourth book), suffered from a similar problem as the games based novels discussed in the last posting. Because the book is such a short read, it's hard to sympathize with the main character or his problems, even if it they are expressed in the first person. It seems like Berg did not yet have a full grasp of how to write about extreme tragedy in an effective manner yet.
That's all cleared up with her next three books, collectively referred to as the "Rai-Kirah" trilogy and composed of the titles "Transformation", "Revelation", and "Restoration". These books know how to hit the readers where it hurts, and make them thoroughly enjoy every moment of it. The story revolves around a man named Seyonne who has been a slave so long that he no longer even bothers to contemplate suicide; he's so far in the depths of despair that even the thought of the release of death gives him no joy. The horror of his slavery extends beyond simply being owned and abused by another human being. In the culture that he comes from, warriors who are taken captive are considered dead to their people, so even should he ever be freed or find some way to escape, all of his family and friends would ignore his existence. He could shout in their faces, punch them, or even burn down their homes and they would not acknowledge his presence. Expanding the book into a trilogy gave enough time to flesh out the cast and have some decent character development. During the course of the series Seyonne changes as his circumstances change around him.
Berg's writing is not perfect, though. There are some missteps that might put off readers. Some arcs of the story veer wildly off into strangely unnecessary tangents that don't seem to have any real relevance with the overall world, and there are the occasional fantasy clichés that can be seen from a mile away. Overall these complaints are minor and can be overlooked when compared to the compelling storyline and amazing first person execution.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Games Based Novels
Like many people I originally started reading fantasy as a kid because of novels based on video games and role playing games. These are a great launching pad for the younger crowd to get introduced to the genre because these books tend to be relatively short, usually around three hundred pages or less, have simplistic story lines that are resolved in a single novel, and generally have themes and lessons that are easy to digest. Unfortunately they tend to lose their appeal as the reader moves on to bigger authors and more serious fantasy series. The previously positive attributes turn to negatives as the mandatory low page counts imposed by the manufacturers of the games mean that characters are not given enough time to be fully fleshed out, leading to ambivalence on the part of the readers. Who cares if a character I've known for a measly hundred pages meets his final demise? I haven't gotten in that character's head enough to know whether I care about them or not. The simple themes and obvious good versus evil dichotomy become monotonous as book after book rehash the same ideas with new names and places.
Despite these problems there are still a few games based novels which manage to hold my attention and hold their own against more mature fantasy books. One such book is "The Gathering Dark" by Jeff Grubb, which is based on the Magic: The Gathering card game. Set long before the main storyline of the game when the world of Dominaria was gripped by a harsh ice age, it features heroes that are consistently fun to read about, villains that are multi-faceted, and writing that is more compelling than the average game based book. While all of these reasons on their own might be enough to give the book a shot, it's the social commentary that really sets The Gathering Dark apart from all the other books in the Magic series. It might be hard to believe that a book based on a fantasy card game could have anything even resembling thought provoking ideas about our society, but Jeff Grubb manages to pull it off by making parallels between several groups in the novel and prominent organizations in the real world, and he does it without being too heavy handed to boot.
Despite these problems there are still a few games based novels which manage to hold my attention and hold their own against more mature fantasy books. One such book is "The Gathering Dark" by Jeff Grubb, which is based on the Magic: The Gathering card game. Set long before the main storyline of the game when the world of Dominaria was gripped by a harsh ice age, it features heroes that are consistently fun to read about, villains that are multi-faceted, and writing that is more compelling than the average game based book. While all of these reasons on their own might be enough to give the book a shot, it's the social commentary that really sets The Gathering Dark apart from all the other books in the Magic series. It might be hard to believe that a book based on a fantasy card game could have anything even resembling thought provoking ideas about our society, but Jeff Grubb manages to pull it off by making parallels between several groups in the novel and prominent organizations in the real world, and he does it without being too heavy handed to boot.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Seattle Attractions Part III
On to day three of the Seattle trip! The third day was the time to cram in everything we hadn't had a chance to get to before, so it was a hectic and attraction filled day. The first order of business was to get to the Seattle Zoo. Since we weren't driving and it was several miles from our hotel we tried out the bus system, which is surprisingly well put together mass transit system. Besides the one problem of the first bus expecting us to pay before we boarded and the second bus driver yelling at me because I was supposed to pay after the ride was down and I was leaving, everything was pretty smooth. We weren't familiar with the layout of the city and didn't have a bus map, but a helpful local told us where to get off the bus. Most of the buses in Seattle are two bus lengths long, with a bendable middle section. We sat in the middle, which was a crazy experience because every turn made the walls of the section expand and contract.
The Seattle Zoo is large enough to spend an entire day there, so our stay was full of running and finding the best sites. We stopped first at the food court and got smoothies, which are served in cups that look like plastic but are actually made out of corn so they are not only earth friendly, but they also can't harm the animals if someone drops them in an exhibit. The large elephant exhibit was our main reason for going, but for some reason none of the elephants could be seen, which was a bit of a letdown. We did get a good view of the apes, giraffes, and hippos, though.
After finishing up at the Zoo we took one last trek to the Pike Place Market to get all the purchases we didn't want to carry or weren't sure of the day before. There is a cheap T-Shirt shop with thousands of shirts just outside the Market building proper where I acquired the obligatory "Seattle" shot glass and my wife bought shirts to take home as gifts. We wandered away from the market to see what else was downtown and found the Pike Brewing Co., a restaurant, bar, and brewery. They have an amazing artichoke dip that puts a new spin on an old classic by adding in crab and putting it on little bread slices instead of chips. My meal choice was the "Son of Reuben", which supposedly is half of a full Reuben sandwich. If that was half, I'm glad I didn't get the full, because what I got was bigger than any Reuben I've had at home. We also tried the Pike Sampler, which was six of the brews available in four ounce glasses served on a wooden board with a little insert that told about each beers flavor, bitterness, and alcohol content. The Pike Naughty Nellie and the Pike Kilt Lifter were our favorites, and we were fortunate enough to find the Kilt Lifter in a store when we got home. For those who prefer a darker, heavier beer, I would recommend the Pike XXXXX Stout, which is a dark reddish-black and has a slight chocolate aftertaste.
Our last major stop was down the street at the Seattle Art Museum to see the Roman art exhibits on loan from the Louvre in France. Most of the statues were in marble, and since there weren't under glass it was a challenge to not reach out and touch them (the beer sampler might have had something to do with that lack of inhibition, though!). After perusing all the Roman art we had a few minutes before the museum closed to see the regular exhibits. Some of them were very interesting and fun to look at, like the king's robe made entirely of dog tags, but others were very much stretching the boundaries of what should be considered "art", like the canvas that simply was painted half black and half white, which any 1st grade kid could have done. The Art Museum's main lobby is an exhibit all on its own, sporting full sized cars hanging from cables with dozens of long glowing rods sticking out of them.
After all that walking and exploring it was time to relax, so back to the hotel to lounge in the hot tub and enjoy the sauna!
May Musical Releases
May is shaping up to be a good month for new music, with albums coming out on the same day for two of my favorite bands. May 27th will see the release of both the new Ihsahn solo album titled "angL", and the new Tiamat album "Amanethes".
AngL was recorded and mixed by Ihsahn at Symphonique Studios, the studio owned by Ishahn's wife Heidi, in his native Norway. Asgeir Mickelson, the drummer for fellow Norwegian band Borknagar, returns to colloborate with Ihsahn again and handle drumming duties on this album. In a surprise colloboration, Mikael Akerfeldt of Opeth will also be making a guest appearance on the album, providing vocals for one song. Apparently Ihsahn and Mikael have been friends since they met at an Emperor concert in the nineties and have always wanted to work together but haven't had the chance until now. Ihsahn recently did an interview with a website where he walked the interviewers through all the songs on the album and explained what they were about and why he composed them the way he did. Based on his explanations I'm expecting this to be one of the best albums of 2008!
Tiamat streamed their entire new album on their MySpace page for a few days earlier this month, so I've already got a chance to check it out before buying. I'm quite impressed with how they've meshed the sound of their earlier, heavier work with both their middle era Pink Floyd sound and their newer, more toned down and rock oriented feel. The ablum has already been released in Europe and entered the Swedish album chart at #13, a first for Tiamat.
AngL was recorded and mixed by Ihsahn at Symphonique Studios, the studio owned by Ishahn's wife Heidi, in his native Norway. Asgeir Mickelson, the drummer for fellow Norwegian band Borknagar, returns to colloborate with Ihsahn again and handle drumming duties on this album. In a surprise colloboration, Mikael Akerfeldt of Opeth will also be making a guest appearance on the album, providing vocals for one song. Apparently Ihsahn and Mikael have been friends since they met at an Emperor concert in the nineties and have always wanted to work together but haven't had the chance until now. Ihsahn recently did an interview with a website where he walked the interviewers through all the songs on the album and explained what they were about and why he composed them the way he did. Based on his explanations I'm expecting this to be one of the best albums of 2008!
Tiamat streamed their entire new album on their MySpace page for a few days earlier this month, so I've already got a chance to check it out before buying. I'm quite impressed with how they've meshed the sound of their earlier, heavier work with both their middle era Pink Floyd sound and their newer, more toned down and rock oriented feel. The ablum has already been released in Europe and entered the Swedish album chart at #13, a first for Tiamat.
Seattle Attractions Part II
The second day of our Seattle trip took us on a longer exploration of the famous Pike Place Market. We got coffee at the original Starbucks store, which still has the more risqué original Starbucks logo sporting a much more nude mermaid than what is seen on most of the other store logos. The open market on the ground floor is an awesome experience. Nearly every type of store is there, from fresh flowers to clothes and jewelry and all kinds of seafood and fresh vegetables. I acquired a flashy new tye dye shirt and munched on coconut covered fruit rolls while we moved on to exploring the lower floors, which have even more variety, including book stores and novelty shops. There was an out of print CD store, which I was very excited about as I was looking for an out of print CD of a band called Krux. Frederik Akesson, the person I had come to Seattle to interview at the concert, was in this band so I wanted to have the CD there for him to sign. Unfortunately the CD store was closed for some reason, so no such luck there. On the way back upstairs there were numerous street performers playing guitar and singing songs, and we saw the famous fish mart where the employees throw fish to the customers.
Later on we took the 1 hour Argosy harbor cruise of Elliot Bay, which was included with our Seattle City Pass. It was a little overcast with a light sprinkling, which was perfect weather for the hot rum cider we bought from the bar. The tour guide was funny and informative, and we got a great view of the city skyline. The cruise ship passed by a hotel right on the waterfront where they used to allow fishing from the bedroom windows, a practice which was nixed when broken windows and fish hidden under mattresses and in bath tubs became a serious problem. The guide mentioned the history of a seafood restaurant called Ivers, which supposedly started as an aquarium but switched to a restaurant when it was losing too much money so the owner decided to cook up all the fish and hope to make a profit. When we got off the tour we headed to Ivers to check it out for ourselves. Ivers is very interesting for a "fast food" style restaurant because the front half is open air, giving it a unique flavor not found in many other similar restaurants. Their crowning achievement is the clam chowder served in a bread bowl, which is highly regarded by all the locals, and the halibut and fries wasn't too bad either. They also have a connected sit down restaurant with a different menu, but because we were strapped for time we had to pass on it.
After Ivers it was time to head to our main reason for coming to Seattle - the Progressive Nation concert and my interview with Opeth. That is a post all its own, so we'll skip that and move on. We sampled the delivery fare again after the concert, and I had the first and only thing that wasn't as good in Seattle as it was at home. We ordered from a pizzeria and got calzones. I chose the Greek calzone, which was essentially a gyro but baked in a pizza crust. It was a decent enough meal, but they used beef instead of the traditional lamb, which was a bit of let down because we have a great Greek place at home that makes a much better gyro and uses the more flavorful lamb.
Later on we took the 1 hour Argosy harbor cruise of Elliot Bay, which was included with our Seattle City Pass. It was a little overcast with a light sprinkling, which was perfect weather for the hot rum cider we bought from the bar. The tour guide was funny and informative, and we got a great view of the city skyline. The cruise ship passed by a hotel right on the waterfront where they used to allow fishing from the bedroom windows, a practice which was nixed when broken windows and fish hidden under mattresses and in bath tubs became a serious problem. The guide mentioned the history of a seafood restaurant called Ivers, which supposedly started as an aquarium but switched to a restaurant when it was losing too much money so the owner decided to cook up all the fish and hope to make a profit. When we got off the tour we headed to Ivers to check it out for ourselves. Ivers is very interesting for a "fast food" style restaurant because the front half is open air, giving it a unique flavor not found in many other similar restaurants. Their crowning achievement is the clam chowder served in a bread bowl, which is highly regarded by all the locals, and the halibut and fries wasn't too bad either. They also have a connected sit down restaurant with a different menu, but because we were strapped for time we had to pass on it.
After Ivers it was time to head to our main reason for coming to Seattle - the Progressive Nation concert and my interview with Opeth. That is a post all its own, so we'll skip that and move on. We sampled the delivery fare again after the concert, and I had the first and only thing that wasn't as good in Seattle as it was at home. We ordered from a pizzeria and got calzones. I chose the Greek calzone, which was essentially a gyro but baked in a pizza crust. It was a decent enough meal, but they used beef instead of the traditional lamb, which was a bit of let down because we have a great Greek place at home that makes a much better gyro and uses the more flavorful lamb.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Seattle Attractions Part I
In my previous post I wrote about all the glorious food we ate in Seattle (and I'm going to talk about it more - there was just too much delicious stuff to fit into one rant!), so now it's time to move on to the attractions. We stayed in a hotel just a few blocks from the Space Needle and all the surrounding shops, so our first stop was the food court right next to that most famous of Seattle's sites. There was a convention of some sort going on celebrating Asian Pacific Islander heritage, so we go to see a neat show with music on the center stage while we tried to figure out which of the many mini-restaurants to snag a quick a lunch from before going exploring. The variety in the food courts is astounding! Thai, Indian, Mexican, seafood, Italian, sandwiches, burgers, Chinese, sushi, anything you can think of they have in abundance. I tried a seafood place called Steamers, which was the first food court restaurant I'd ever seen that offered glasses of wine. They had a surprisingly wide selection for their size, and their shrimp and fries were great!
We took the monorail down to the Westlake Center, which has an even larger food court with yet more varieties of food to sample. On our last day there I went to the sushi stand and got to sample octopus and raw red snapper, which are probably both acquired tastes because of their rubbery texture, but I enjoyed them, especially with a little wasabi. The monorail is a fun trip if you get a driver who likes to talk about the history of Seattle. We took the monorail many times and had wildly different experiences depending on who was working it. The original monorail car from the 1960's is the one still in use today. Some of the best sites to see downtown are within walking distance of the Westlake Center, like Pike Market, the waterfront, and a whole lot of shopping.
We each bought the Seattle City Pass, which offers entrance into a variety of attractions for around half or less of the normal price. After checking out the sites around downtown our first location to use the City Pass was the Experience Music Project and Science Fiction Museum, which happened to be right back where we'd come from, directly next to the Space Needle. While it's called the "Music" project, it's really the "Hendrix" project because about seventy percent of the place is dedicated to information about Jimi Hendrix and his music. The coolest thing about the museum was the guitar sculpture, which was a giant collection of connected musical instruments (mostly guitars) that winds all the up from the floor to the ceiling of the second floor. There is also a recording studio where people can record different instruments or vocals, and then buy a CD of their recording.
We took the monorail down to the Westlake Center, which has an even larger food court with yet more varieties of food to sample. On our last day there I went to the sushi stand and got to sample octopus and raw red snapper, which are probably both acquired tastes because of their rubbery texture, but I enjoyed them, especially with a little wasabi. The monorail is a fun trip if you get a driver who likes to talk about the history of Seattle. We took the monorail many times and had wildly different experiences depending on who was working it. The original monorail car from the 1960's is the one still in use today. Some of the best sites to see downtown are within walking distance of the Westlake Center, like Pike Market, the waterfront, and a whole lot of shopping.
We each bought the Seattle City Pass, which offers entrance into a variety of attractions for around half or less of the normal price. After checking out the sites around downtown our first location to use the City Pass was the Experience Music Project and Science Fiction Museum, which happened to be right back where we'd come from, directly next to the Space Needle. While it's called the "Music" project, it's really the "Hendrix" project because about seventy percent of the place is dedicated to information about Jimi Hendrix and his music. The coolest thing about the museum was the guitar sculpture, which was a giant collection of connected musical instruments (mostly guitars) that winds all the up from the floor to the ceiling of the second floor. There is also a recording studio where people can record different instruments or vocals, and then buy a CD of their recording.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Foods of Seattle
I recently took a trip to Seattle with my wife and Brother-in-law to see the Progressive Nation 2008 tour and interview the band Opeth. We went a day early and stayed a few days after, so we got the opportunity to sample the many culinary delights of the rainy city.
While wandering the downtown area on foot (don't drive in Seattle - seriously. I spent about an hour attempting to drive there and after realizing that it was actually the worst experience of my life I vowed to never do it again) after checking into our hotel we found ourselves in a quaint little English style pub and restaurant called Elephant and Castle, which has great atmosphere and decor. The restaurant section is setup to look like a den or reading room, complete with bookshelves and soft lighting. We indulged in Guinness straight from the tap, which is much better than from the bottle (it's all about the thick foam head!), and had traditional English pub fare. I had a chicken breast cooked in a cream sauce with Jameson whiskey, and it was delicious.
Seafood is king in Seattle, and nearly every restaurant has some sort of fresh seafood entry, if not an entire section of the menu devoted to it. Lowell's Restaurant in the famous Pike Place Market has an awesome Dungeness Crab cocktail and a pretty good calamari steak appetizer. The view from the second story lounge really rounds out the experience, as you can watch ships in the bay while munching on fish.
Pike Place Market is like a giant restaurant all it's own, not even counting the actual restaurants in it. Almost every other store has some kind of fresh produce, candy, seafood, pasta, or baked goods for sale. The "Very French Bakery", just a few stores down from the original Starbucks, has some to-die-for Brioche that's perfect for eating while exploring the Market.
Not too far from the Market is a famous sushi restaurant called Sushi Kyo. Fans of sushi should definitely try this place, as it's absolutely great! I had the Scorpion Roll, which had deep fried salmon, something that is an oddity in sushi. The rolls themselves were huge and there were plenty of them for a decent price.
Even the take out places are exceptional. Most hotels there have brochures for restaurants that deliver to as late as four in the morning for travelers getting back in late. We tried two different pizza places that also had pasta and calzones, and we were not disappointed!
While wandering the downtown area on foot (don't drive in Seattle - seriously. I spent about an hour attempting to drive there and after realizing that it was actually the worst experience of my life I vowed to never do it again) after checking into our hotel we found ourselves in a quaint little English style pub and restaurant called Elephant and Castle, which has great atmosphere and decor. The restaurant section is setup to look like a den or reading room, complete with bookshelves and soft lighting. We indulged in Guinness straight from the tap, which is much better than from the bottle (it's all about the thick foam head!), and had traditional English pub fare. I had a chicken breast cooked in a cream sauce with Jameson whiskey, and it was delicious.
Seafood is king in Seattle, and nearly every restaurant has some sort of fresh seafood entry, if not an entire section of the menu devoted to it. Lowell's Restaurant in the famous Pike Place Market has an awesome Dungeness Crab cocktail and a pretty good calamari steak appetizer. The view from the second story lounge really rounds out the experience, as you can watch ships in the bay while munching on fish.
Pike Place Market is like a giant restaurant all it's own, not even counting the actual restaurants in it. Almost every other store has some kind of fresh produce, candy, seafood, pasta, or baked goods for sale. The "Very French Bakery", just a few stores down from the original Starbucks, has some to-die-for Brioche that's perfect for eating while exploring the Market.
Not too far from the Market is a famous sushi restaurant called Sushi Kyo. Fans of sushi should definitely try this place, as it's absolutely great! I had the Scorpion Roll, which had deep fried salmon, something that is an oddity in sushi. The rolls themselves were huge and there were plenty of them for a decent price.
Even the take out places are exceptional. Most hotels there have brochures for restaurants that deliver to as late as four in the morning for travelers getting back in late. We tried two different pizza places that also had pasta and calzones, and we were not disappointed!
A Song of Ice and Fire
After discovering that there is in fact Life After Goodkind (see the previous post), where is one to go for epic fantasy that is compelling, emotionally engaging, and original? When I was busy defending The Sword of Truth from naysayers, I always heard people sing the highest praises of George R.R. Martin's series, "A Song of Ice and Fire". Of course, people who hated Goodkind recommending a series to me just made me not want to read it, which was a serious mistake. I truly wish I had found this series much earlier, because it's everything I've ever wanted in an epic fantasy.
A Song of Ice and Fire has pretty much everything that the less satisfying massive epic fantasies (Sword of Truth, Wheel of Time, etc.) lacks. Each chapter is told from the perspective of a different character, so the world presented in the story is much more fleshed out. Martin doesn't shy way from putting each character's preconceived notions and misconceptions into his work, which makes the character's actions and thoughts much more realistic and believable. There are also no strict "good" heroes or "bad" villains. Every character thinks that they are good and that their enemies are bad, and that they are justified in their actions. Seeing events from multiple sides of a conflict really makes the reader ponder who is truly right and question whether their initial impression was really accurate.
Martin also writes an adult tale for an adult audience. While this statement could potentially be applied to Goodkind as well, as there was plenty of graphic violence and grown up themes in the Sword of Truth novels, Martin takes it to a whole new level. There isn't violence just for violence's sake (or just to get an emotional reaction from the reader from time to time - something that it pains me to admit Goodkind is very much guilty of). There is death, and war, and torture, but it is told to either advance the story overall or have some kind of character development. There are highly graphic and explicit descriptions of a wide variety of sexual situations, but these descriptions are accurate and consistent with how people really act. While plenty of people like to pretend that humans aren't sexual creatures with sexual desires, Martin doesn't bother with that pretense. He realizes that everyone is motivated by sex in some way and exploits that fact. The more conservative reader might find these scenes offensive, but it should be stated that sex is not used as a pornographic device to titillate the reader, it's only there when it makes sense to be there.
My favorite aspect of Martin's writing is how he ignores the genre standards entirely. The world he describes is a violent one (based loosely on the Hundred Years War), and people in his world are mortal. Unlike other epic fantasy series where heroes or villains who have been built up as the main characters can never permanently die or be removed from the equation until the very end or in a highly emotional scene, Martin lets his characters die when they get themselves into dangerous situations, and no character is spared from this rule. The inevitability of a confrontation between the ultimate good and the ultimate evil of other series is also completely removed. Where as in a more standard series a major bad guy could never be brought low by a peasant with a vendetta and a lucky stroke, a case of serious illness, an infection from a festering wound, or most deadly of all, a political miscalculation in the game of thrones, Martin will gleefully show that no one is untouchable, and no one is beyond the reach of Reaper's scythe. A similarly great aspect of the series is the realism in how the characters interact with one another. Misunderstandings, misinterpretations, people with opposing philosophical views, and lies said in anger are more potent enemies to the main characters than any army or magical beast.
If you want to leave the childish and silly staples of fantasy behind and move into more compelling adult territory, you owe it to yourself to pick up Martin's books.
A Song of Ice and Fire has pretty much everything that the less satisfying massive epic fantasies (Sword of Truth, Wheel of Time, etc.) lacks. Each chapter is told from the perspective of a different character, so the world presented in the story is much more fleshed out. Martin doesn't shy way from putting each character's preconceived notions and misconceptions into his work, which makes the character's actions and thoughts much more realistic and believable. There are also no strict "good" heroes or "bad" villains. Every character thinks that they are good and that their enemies are bad, and that they are justified in their actions. Seeing events from multiple sides of a conflict really makes the reader ponder who is truly right and question whether their initial impression was really accurate.
Martin also writes an adult tale for an adult audience. While this statement could potentially be applied to Goodkind as well, as there was plenty of graphic violence and grown up themes in the Sword of Truth novels, Martin takes it to a whole new level. There isn't violence just for violence's sake (or just to get an emotional reaction from the reader from time to time - something that it pains me to admit Goodkind is very much guilty of). There is death, and war, and torture, but it is told to either advance the story overall or have some kind of character development. There are highly graphic and explicit descriptions of a wide variety of sexual situations, but these descriptions are accurate and consistent with how people really act. While plenty of people like to pretend that humans aren't sexual creatures with sexual desires, Martin doesn't bother with that pretense. He realizes that everyone is motivated by sex in some way and exploits that fact. The more conservative reader might find these scenes offensive, but it should be stated that sex is not used as a pornographic device to titillate the reader, it's only there when it makes sense to be there.
My favorite aspect of Martin's writing is how he ignores the genre standards entirely. The world he describes is a violent one (based loosely on the Hundred Years War), and people in his world are mortal. Unlike other epic fantasy series where heroes or villains who have been built up as the main characters can never permanently die or be removed from the equation until the very end or in a highly emotional scene, Martin lets his characters die when they get themselves into dangerous situations, and no character is spared from this rule. The inevitability of a confrontation between the ultimate good and the ultimate evil of other series is also completely removed. Where as in a more standard series a major bad guy could never be brought low by a peasant with a vendetta and a lucky stroke, a case of serious illness, an infection from a festering wound, or most deadly of all, a political miscalculation in the game of thrones, Martin will gleefully show that no one is untouchable, and no one is beyond the reach of Reaper's scythe. A similarly great aspect of the series is the realism in how the characters interact with one another. Misunderstandings, misinterpretations, people with opposing philosophical views, and lies said in anger are more potent enemies to the main characters than any army or magical beast.
If you want to leave the childish and silly staples of fantasy behind and move into more compelling adult territory, you owe it to yourself to pick up Martin's books.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
The Sword of Truth
My favorite fantasy novel has always been Faith of the Fallen, the sixth novel in Terry Goodkind's "Sword of Truth" series. I stumbled on the series in high school on the recommendation of a guy who I idolized as a teen and who had some very similar life experiences as I had. This series really shaped my teen years, speaking to me on a both a philosophical level (the series is based on Ayn Rand's philosophy of Objectivism - a line of thinking that I was very receptive to at the time), a personal level (the plight of several of the characters very closely mimicked problems in my own life - both real and incorrectly perceived through the veil of youthful naivety), and on a literary level (anyone looking for standard epic high fantasy need look no further than this series).
I didn't get much of a chance to truly expand out to other fantasy series because of my home environment, which was highly hostile to anything of a secular nature. It wasn't until living on my own that I discovered other authors and was able to discuss fantasy novels with people who didn't immediately react with condemnation. Much to my dismay, I discovered that Goodkind has a horde of not only critics, but people who outright hate his work and find his writing to be childishly cliché at best, and outright plagiarism at worst.
For a long time I was one of those people who would defend Goodkind tooth and nail, citing his willingness to take his series on a darker bent than other authors, his ability to keep a series interesting after thousands of pages, and the skillful way he blended his personal philosophical beliefs into a rousing fantasy adventure without being overly preachy or condescending. Even when the series took a sharp turn away from fantasy with a purpose and directly into straight up preaching, I continued to carry Goodkind's torch, believing there was some grand reason for this change and that eventually it would all be tied together into a satisfying conclusion.
I was very, very wrong.
The final book in the Sword of Truth series was a massive disappointment on nearly every level, and almost commits the sin of being so terrible it invalidates the glory that preceded it. Goodkind went with the most cliché, easy, predictable, unoriginal ending that he could possibly think of. There was even a point earlier in the series where I thought to myself (***Spoiler here, skip ahead if you haven't finished the series yet ***) "Wow, the Order is very clearly supposed to be a metaphor for modern Christianity, so it's a good thing Goodkind is a competent enough author to not be so heavy handed as to have this whole fantasy world be the precursor for our modern Earth, and the Order the precursor for actual Christianity." Guess what happened in the last three pages of the final book? This whole fantasy world is transformed into modern Earth, and the members of the Order go on to found Christianity. Come on! This was the most obvious turn of events, why did it have to actually happen? I mean, showcasing parallels between the two groups is all well and good to make a point, but making the two groups actually the same is taking it too far.
Oh, and the way in which Good finally triumphs over Evil? Not even worth repeating or bothering to explain why it wasn't any good. A child could have come up with a better ending.
I still hold that Faith of the Fallen is one of the best fantasy novels ever for its ability to emotionally impact the reader, and I recommend that anyone looking for new fantasy give the Sword of Truth a shot - just quit reading after Faith of the Fallen and make up your ending, because whatever you come up with in your head will be better than how it actually ends.
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